Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Vala. Daniel. Team.
Spoilers: Dominion
Summary: It's okay, they've got each other's backs. Takes place just prior to Dominion.
Notes: Title from the song "I Think I'm Paranoid" by Garbage.

Nailed My Faith to the Sticking Pole
By Six Before Lunch

It reminds her a little of the time the short man who did the TV show came around and annoyed everyone. They're all sitting around a table making up a story. Except this time, everyone actually cares, the veins in Daniel's forehead aren't throbbing, and it's not quite so much fun.

"What's wrong with an Asgard beaming me up?"

"It doesn't make any sense," Daniel says. "Why would an Asgard randomly swing by Earth, beam you up, and then drop you off on the planet of your choosing." He's scribbling in a yellow notepad, the designated secretary for this meeting.

"They like me?"

"No," Daniel says.

Sam reaches across the table and takes the notes from Daniel, skimming them while she talks. "It has to be something you'll believe, Vala."

"Forget that. It has to be something Adria will believe," Cameron says.

Sam nods and Teal'c says, "Indeed," and Vala doesn't have to look at Daniel to know she's lost.

"Fine."

"Come on, Vala," Cameron says. "You must have thought up a half dozen ways of getting out of here."

Vala doesn't twirl her hair, because none of them will fall for that, and she doesn't lean over and show off her breasts because they'll all pretend not to notice and the shirt she's wearing doesn't show them off very well anyway. She could do something outrageous like put her feet on the table, but then they'd know she was trying to distract them and that would kind of defeat the purpose.

They're easily distracted people, if you know what to use, but Vala doesn't have an old book, or a broken naquada reactor, or a PlayStation. Anyway, you can't use any one thing to get to all of them. That's what makes them so effective and occasionally infuriating when they're in a pack.

So instead of trying to throw them off, Vala just reaches across the table and steals the yellow pad from Sam. She plucks the pen out of Daniel's hand and scribbles down a plan to escape the SGC. It's plan F or K or something. She doesn't really have them labeled, it's just one of the plans down at the bottom of her list. It's the plan that assumes minimal intelligence on their part, so maybe it will work out. If they think she thinks they're that stupid, they won't watch her as much. Maybe.

When she hands the pad back, Sam looks it over before nodding and handing it off to Daniel.

"Fine, that'll work," Sam says and lapses into a lecture about the technical details of the memory implant device they're going to use on Vala's brain.

Vala doesn't care. Getting her brain fried is the least of her worries now. But while Sam is talking, Daniel leans over and whispers, "You don't really think our security is that bad."

Vala's ready to protest her innocence, but Daniel just says, "You'd better have a plan or two that involves getting all of us out. Because I had to rework most of my escape plans to account for you."

Vala's eyes get just a little wide and Daniel leans back, looking all attentiveness and innocence as Sam talks. Vala glances around the table. She wonders how many contingency plans there are between the five of them, how much time they've all spend thinking about the very real possibility that one day the IOA is going to wake up and decide they're all too valuable to let go. She wonders if they've ever sat down and discussed them.

Probably not. Contingency plans are like the tretonin tucked in Mitchell's boot, the allergy medications that Sam carries in case Daniel forgets his, the tampons in Teal'c's pack. They're completely unspoken, but everyone knows they're there.

Vala rests her chin in her hand and tries not to smile while she watches Sam talk. The IOA and the Pentagon can have plan K. She's got people watching her back; she doesn't need that one anymore.

end

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